Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize