508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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