why didn't you poke me back
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
