My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
