Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
