i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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