He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
