Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Randomize
