I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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