if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
