I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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