On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
