Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
