It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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