rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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