He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
