I'm so fucking centered right now
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
