The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
