but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
