Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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