Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
