Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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