we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I need water and some morals
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
