it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
