She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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