Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
