And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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