Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
