How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize