Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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