Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
