By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
