In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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