Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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