Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
