We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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