maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize