dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wish you could order shots online.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
