Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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