just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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