Me too!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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