ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
