allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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