FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
