she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
