There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Can I color on your dick again?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
