But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
