He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
