So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
