D3 body, D1 cock
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize