Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
