If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
