eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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