We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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