You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize