This is not my ceiling
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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