we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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