When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
