Whatcha textin bout Willis?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
