i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
