Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
