TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
