there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
