I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
