my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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