the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize