For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
