Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Randomize
