Please don't use social media to get back at me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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