Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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