last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
