i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
